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The other day I lost my best friend. My confidant, the person closest to me, who was always there for me. And as he left, he took me with him and all I am left is a hollow shell, empty and reverberating with what once was.
Everything that was once mine alone was made yours and I willingly shared it. Now, everything has your imprint pressed into the air around it and it’s impossible to ignore. As I reach to read a book, watch a program, play a game, it engulfs me, taking me back to times we had doing the same. My hand drops. There’s no way I can stand to face the memories, each one once so joyful and now so painful, each one etched deeply onto my heart.
Three years in our short lives is a significant time. So long, it’s near impossible to remember what I did before you were there. I find myself fumbling for the phone to relay something of interest to you and then I’m hit all over again- you won’t be there to receive it. Not in the same way.
I know over time, this will fade. But for now, I don’t want it to. To let go is to admit defeat and I’m not ready for that yet. I won’t be for a long time.
I know that you were wrong when you said this was the right thing. And so I stand, waiting, hoping, pleading, that something will change your mind and you’ll be back in my arms. But I can only stand and only time will tell.
Hey,
ReplyDeleteI just clicked onto your blog from the Londoner out of interest and read this post, and it really, really touched me. It's just exactly how I felt when I was heartbroken and I had to comment and tell you that I know how much it hurts and how it's all you can think about and how you have to talk about it because what else is there?
I'm not going to tell you 'you need to get over it' or 'you'll feel better soon' because it's trite and silly and I don't know your situation at all. All I can tell you is just to keep going - just keep getting up and having breakfast and brushing your hair and going to work, even though it all feels like a horrible dream. I know you don't know me and it's a bit weird but if you need anyone to talk to (when you feel like your friends are just sick and tired of listening) let me know! xxxxxx
The perks of being a hipster
Cate, thank you so much for your kind words- I'm so grateful for them. Your comment has been the first thing to make me smile in what already seems like an age. I'll take your advice to heart.
DeleteThank you,
KJxx
What an amazing post. The only advice I have for you is that time is a healer. Every day it will get that little bit easier, even if you don't notice it straight away. You're really brave :)
ReplyDeleteBea x
www.beasbeautyblog.com
Thank you Brittany- I really appreciate that =)
DeleteKJx
I've only been through one breakup, but it was one of the hardest things I've ever had to endure. These words kept me going: "You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have." I don't know you, but you are stronger than you think.
ReplyDeleteDanielle @ itsabeautifuldayblog.blogspot.com
Thank you Danielle- wise words I'm sure- I'll keep them in mind =)
DeleteKJx
I was trying to find a nice and supportive thing to say but Danielle said it so well.....some experiences are just meant to teach you something and once you find the wisdom of it, it's a lot easier to accept and start letting go. Hope you find ways to cope...surround yourself with friends and do things for you like pampering yourself..!
Deletewww.seppysmontreal.com
Thank you Seppy- it seems that all bloggers are full of words of wisdom =) And you're completely right, you just have to learn from these things =)
DeleteThank you
KJx
This is one of the most honest and beautifully written blogs I have ever had the pleasure of reading. I really admire you for your honesty and being able to admit how much pain a break up can mean. Keep smiling and writing :) www.anenglishrosie94.blogspot.co.uk
ReplyDeleteThank you very much Rosie- that's very kind of you =)
DeleteKJx
I can only imagine what you are going through because I have yet to be in a serious relationship and breaking up seems so scary even though I have never experienced real love. All I can say is, cry it out if you have to. And when you have done that, take each day as it comes. Surround yourself with people and friends and new activities to do that will help time pass by. Pretty soon it will be Easter, then the summer and you never know what may come your way ! Although I don't know your personally, at least know that you experienced love, which is something not all of us have had the opportunity to have young lady :) Good things will come your way. Much love
ReplyDeletebisous,
Natasha
www.bisousnatasha.com
More wise words =) I can't say how much I appreciate each kind word that comes from these comments. Thank you so much Natasha =)
DeleteKJx
I know its been said before but it is brave of you to open up yourself like that. It's the first step to healing. I have friends who are currently going through the same thing and all I can say, even if its cliched, is that it takes time. Eventually you'll be able to look back at this time and not feel as hurt and in the meantime, it's okay to cry and let yourself feel the pain. Nothing gets accomplished by trying to ignore it. And maybe this is what you need to open yourself up to new possibilities :)
ReplyDeletewww.thefoxandtheclown.blogspot.com
Thank you Samantha =) I hope you're right about new possibilities =)
DeleteGive my love to your friends going through the same =)
KJx
Heartbreak is the hardest thing, and as generic as it sounds, time really does heal. Sometimes you have to go through all the emotions to come out of the other side, but you always do and you will. Wishing you all the best Katie!
ReplyDeleteJenna x
www.jennafifi.co.uk
Thank you very much Jenna =)
DeleteKJx